Have you ever heard someone describe their day as productive and successful because they “tied up a bunch of loose ends”?

What does that actually mean?

What are loose ends, and do I have any?

Chances are likely a resounding YES!  So what are they?

Loose ends come in many sizes and forms, from work related tasks, around the house projects or personal obligations which we have started but not yet finished.  Wether it’s a fix up job you promised your partner you’d take care of, a car service that is long overdue, or and unfinished work project, most of us have them.

Good and Bad Loose Ends 

Just to be clear not all loose ends are a problem; just the ones which bother you. Loose ends that you don’t want can take a lot of mental energy out of you.  These are the bad loose ends.

Back to the car service example. Perhaps you have been putting off a blinking light on the dash board or a squeak under the hood because you suspect that the mechanic will notice it and several other issues that you can’t afford.  So you put it off because you are afraid of bad news.  You are not helping yourself by ignoring the problem that could be getting worse, and potentially more expensive, but you do anyways out of fear. Plus you just don’t have the time to deal with it right now because you have too much else going on, too many loose ends.

Bad loose ends are not something we think about “all the time”.  Usually we remind ourselves about bad loose ends when there are fewer distractions (or no distractions), thus the loose ends never give us a chance to relax. This can create a tremendous amount of stress for us.

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Change is constant; intuitively we understand the concept and can absorb it with little difficulty. Yet when change occurs in our lives; when people pass on, when friendships shift form intimate to distant, or when we notice we are aging, these truths can terrify us. Sometimes we need years to recover from changes that we weren’t ready to accept as we had hoped the situation would always stay the same. We knew all along that nothing lasts forever, yet we tend to hold onto the desire for good things to last forever.

Do we do this in order to punish ourselves? Likely not. Then why do we hold onto this idea of wanting things to not change?

When “change is constant” feels like an enemy which zaps our energy, it might be helpful to remind ourselves of the song lyrics from a song titled Closing Time by the band Semisonic, “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end”. That’s right; the promise inherent in “change is constant” is that new beginnings always follow closures and provide us with opportunities we might otherwise not have had.

Being mindful of this creates the ability to release the old and embrace the new, if we believe that all things end at the appropriate time and that all things begin at the appropriate time. This level of detachment from a situation is not meant to be cold or impersonal. This truth (i.e. reality) can be difficult to accept as we as humans seek stability, structure, routine, and often the absence of change. Trying to make things remain the same is a futile endeavour as all life lessons lead us back to the concept of change being inevitable.
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If we want to “go with the flow” of life we must understand that change is inevitable. Rather than fighting change it might be more useful to understand that we influence, but do not control, what we will experience tomorrow. That being said, our task should be to invest our best energy into every situation; because change is constant every moment is unique and won’t be repeated. Resistance to this reality only leads to heartache and internal struggle; what we resist persists…

It just might be much easier to accept this reality than to fight it. One thing I know for sure is that “change is constant”.

This has been one Dan’s opinion.

How do you view your life? Do you see it as a “rehearsal” or a “performance”? Or perhaps as a practice for something bigger?

During rehearsals and practices when you make mistakes nobody cares.

But in a performance, when the curtain goes up it’s “GO TIME”. The spotlight pops up and all lights are pointed on you.

One of my most liberating beliefs is “my life is not the rehearsal or a practice, it’s ALWAYS a performance”.

What I mean by this is we are all choosing and creating our own lives. As far as I know we only get one life each, so why not live it the best you can with maximum fulfillment? While on your deathbed if you were to look back at what you are doing right now, would that put a smile on your face? Yes, of course I realize that life isn’t all fun and games, but in general terms, is the way you are conducting yourself and the way you are living making you happy?

And don’t give me some excuse that you’re doing something you don’t want to do because you “have to”, or “you can’t.” Unless you are currently held hostage or someone is pointing a gun to your head, you are not a slave. You have choices; there are always options.

Every single moment is a choice.

You can choose to sit at home watching television, or you can choose to do something which excites you, whatever that might be. For me it’s travel and triathlon, so I have incorporated both into my most recent “career break” in Central America which I have created for myself this January and February (2012).

You can choose to do the same old stuff every day until you turn numb and eventually don’t realize the pages of the calendar flip over and over, while the months and years pass you by. While I sit on a beach writing this post, in the midst of training for triathlon, overlooking the waves crashing the beach, I can honestly say that while on my “deathbed” I will be able to look back fondly on this moment I have created for myself.

For a moment reflect on what you’d rather be doing. Just imagine the choices you could make:
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Now and again we see advertisements or read articles about how to cope with stress. If you do “such and such” you’ll manage stress more effectively or if you do “this and that” you’ll cope better.

What is stress anyways? Where does it come from? And why is it that a situation can be stressful for one person, and not another?

Let’s consider the following for a minute. For instance, if my girlfriend were to be on the way to an important meeting she needed to be on time for and happened to get a flat tire she would experience a large amount of stress.

She would perceive the situation to be very demanding; on a scale of 1-10 (1 being low stress and 10 as very high) she’d likely be a 7 or 8. Furthermore, her perception of her own ability to cope with the flat tire would also be stressful as she doesn’t have the knowledge or skills of how to quickly change the tire herself and still be on time for her meeting.

Although she is an excellent problem solver and would be able to call for help or utilize AAA, these options would likely take more time than she has to make it to her meeting on time, thus stressing her out about her perception of how to cope with a flat tire at a level of 7 or 8 again. Click here to read more.. »