HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF?

Posted on 1st August 2012 in CHANGE, EXPLORING OURSELVES, ONE DAN'S OPINION

How do you view your life? Do you see it as a “rehearsal” or a “performance”? Or perhaps as a practice for something bigger?

During rehearsals and practices when you make mistakes nobody cares.

But in a performance, when the curtain goes up it’s “GO TIME”. The spotlight pops up and all lights are pointed on you.

One of my most liberating beliefs is “my life is not the rehearsal or a practice, it’s ALWAYS a performance”.

What I mean by this is we are all choosing and creating our own lives. As far as I know we only get one life each, so why not live it the best you can with maximum fulfillment? While on your deathbed if you were to look back at what you are doing right now, would that put a smile on your face? Yes, of course I realize that life isn’t all fun and games, but in general terms, is the way you are conducting yourself and the way you are living making you happy?

And don’t give me some excuse that you’re doing something you don’t want to do because you “have to”, or “you can’t.” Unless you are currently held hostage or someone is pointing a gun to your head, you are not a slave. You have choices; there are always options.

Every single moment is a choice.

You can choose to sit at home watching television, or you can choose to do something which excites you, whatever that might be. For me it’s travel and triathlon, so I have incorporated both into my most recent “career break” in Central America which I have created for myself this January and February (2012).

You can choose to do the same old stuff every day until you turn numb and eventually don’t realize the pages of the calendar flip over and over, while the months and years pass you by. While I sit on a beach writing this post, in the midst of training for triathlon, overlooking the waves crashing the beach, I can honestly say that while on my “deathbed” I will be able to look back fondly on this moment I have created for myself.

For a moment reflect on what you’d rather be doing. Just imagine the choices you could make:

- Stay home, or travel the world.

- Continue to work in an unfulfilling job, or have a career which excites and intrigues you.

- Eat a frozen diner, or share a meal with friends.

- Be alone, or find meaningful relationships.

- Stay with the person you don’t particularly like because s/he’s a “good provider,” or be with the person of your dreams.

Don’t get me wrong, if you like being at home, eating frozen diners alone or with someone you don’t particularly like, after another boring day at work, then pardon the interruption. You might as well quit reading now and get back to the TV.

For me I believe it’s “one or the other” and the good news is you have the power to choose.

How do you make those choices?

Well, first you have to realize that you only YOU can make the choice. There is nothing in your life you can’t decide to improve or change should you make the conscious choice to change it. Everything we chose, we chose for a reason! We are all products of our choices; I believe we are all what we have chosen. Not only what we are choosing at this very moment, but what we have chosen all along that brought us up to this point. The fact that you’re experiencing it means that you’ve chosen it. Think about where your choices have led, for instance:

- The dead end job, or unemployment.

- The lousy relationship, or no relationship at all.
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- The boring or unfulfilling life.

Why wouldn’t you choose a meaningful and inspiring life over a drab, dull life?

There are many excuses which we all have heard or used such as, “I can’t”, “I don’t know how”, “I have obligations that I can’t change”, or “I can’t afford it.” These seem real but really all they are is a lot of don’ts and can’ts. If someone else tried to tell you “you can’t” would you accept that at face value? Or would you challenge the idea and decide that you “can” do what you put your mind to?

So, the first thing that needs to happen is for us to realize that our world is a world of choices. Your life is like a movie; you are hero, the villain, the leading actor, the stage hand and the producer. You are in charge of the location, wardrobe, script, catering, travel expenses; this is your movie and you’re the star. You’re also the writer and director, so write and direct your life in a way that you’ll be proud to reflect upon years from now.

Step two is to consciously choose. Become aware and self-actualize what it is you want. The good news is that not everyone wants the same things in life and there is plenty to choose from. Decide what it is that you want, and set some goals of how you plan to achieve your desires.

Use the SMART goal setting method (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Framed) to set your goals. In other words make your goals as Specific as possible while attaching tangible and Measurable goals steps.

For instance, the idea of losing weight is a good one. But how will you know how close you are to success if you don’t have a way to measure your progress? Instead of “losing weight”, if you set a goal of “losing one pound per week for 20 weeks” you’ll be able to track your progress and adjust your approach if you aren’t progressing as you intended.

Break long term goals into smaller goal steps, and set yourself up to succeed.

Ensure your goals are Achievable (not to easy or difficult to achieve). You want your goals to be challenging but also not too daunting or unrealistic.

The goal you choose needs to be Relevant; in other words it needs to be meaningful for you and something you actually care about achieving. If your goal comes from outside of you (for instance deciding to try and lose weight because your partner thinks you should) you will have less motivation or even resentment about being pushed into something you don’t want or care about. You need to want to reach a goal for yourself, or else where is the payoff? If you don’t see a payoff of some kind for yourself how would you be motivated to stick with it?

Moreover, your goals should be Time-Framed and with deadlines to assist with motivation. I tend to be most successful in projects with a pending deadline that pushes me to get to where I need to go.

Furthermore, it would be a good idea to talk to others who have achieved similar goals, do some research, and consider a mentor. I have many mentors for various life areas, most of whom are completely unaware of how much guidance and support they have shared.

Step three would be to put your plan into action and pursue it with a strong desire to succeed.

Inevitably there will be obstacles, roadblocks and speed bumps. No one who is successful got there without having to deal with challenges along the way. Successful people aren’t people with no problems; rather, they are often great problem solvers. They respond to things that come up, adapt, and most importantly, don’t give up. When you’re faced with an obstacle remind yourself you are capable of dealing with the obstacle and getting back on track.

Seek out a positive support network and share your goals with them so they are able to assist with motivation in times of need. Persevere through though times with unrelenting commitment and you will eventually succeed. Nobody ever said life was going to be easy.

Behind the curtain, back stage, think about setting the goal of becoming self aware and pursuing what excites you.

Are you getting the most out of your life? If your life was like an orange, could you say that you are squeezing all of the juice from it? Are you extracting all the juice from your life so that when you leave it behind you’re just leaving the peel and seeds?

Your life is not a rehearsal!

Make it happen,

This has been one Dan’s opinion

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