I was recently talking with a friend who referred to herself as “a supporter” in her husband’s life. I asked her who she felt was the “lead actor in her life story” to which she humbly responded, “I don’t know”. I thought it was interesting that she viewed her role in life primarily as a support person. It seemed that her identity may have been too wrapped up in the lives of others and she appeared to have forgotten about her own identity.
What intrigued me was that she considered her identity to be that of a support person. As the conversation went on I wondered if it could be possible that she was the co-star in the husbands life and vice versa?
Although it is both admirable and considerate to be of service to others, it might not be helpful if this is how someone perceives themselves. Being mindful that if each of us aren’t the “stars in our own lives”, who is?
I believe that not only am I the “star in my life”, but also the director, producer, writer, costume designer, villain, and so on; you get
the drift. Each of us are all these roles in each of our lives. This way of thinking has the potential for each of us to assume complete ownership of our lives, thus making us accountable for all of our thoughts, emotions, choices and behaviors.
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No one person only serves one role in life. As we are social beings who have family and friends we serve many roles in our lives (including co-stars in the lives of our loved ones and friends). The stronger the relationship, the stronger the role.
The next time someone asks you who you are, perhaps you might consider responding the “the star in my own life”.
Write your own story,
Dan McCaughan
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