BEING AGITATED IS SO AGITATING – Why Me?

We all become agitated from time to time. In fact, I become agitated everyday for one reason or another.

Oftentimes its small inconveniences which irritate us, while other times it’s something more serious. One thing I know is that I become agitated much less often than I used to. Maybe it’s a sign of getting older, maturation, or possibly something more has happened?

Are there any tricks or skills we can use in order to reduce agitation?

For me it has been rooted in the following:

Avoidance. Once we become aware of the people, places, things and thoughts which agitate us we can choose to avoid them. Avoidance is a good first strategy but doesn’t always work as agitation will eventually surface because we can’t avoid everything which annoys us forever. Chance meetings and automatic thoughts are a couple of reasons why avoidance will not work by itself.

The second option is grounded in our expectations of reality. Becoming aware of reality and understanding our own expectations has the potential to ease our level of agitation.

For instance, I once watched a co-worker have a fist fight with a photocopying machine because it wasn’t doing what he wanted it to do. Clearly he was frustrated and responded in an aggressive manner somehow thinking that hitting the machine would make it respond in the way he wanted it to. After multiple attempts produced the same undesired and predictable result he left angry, frustrated, and embarrassed for the way he behaved.

After all, what did he expect?

The reality was that he didn’t know how to get what he wanted from the machine and that was somehow the photocopying machines fault. He was expecting a positive result even though he was unable to communicate with (program) the machine the way it needed to be to produce his expected outcome. It appeared to drive him nuts that a machine had out witted him but the reality was, why did he expect it to respond positively until he did what was necessary to produce a desired result?

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This always seems to happen when we are in a hurry which amplifies the amount of agitation we experience. If we believe the computer “should function properly and up to speed 100% of the time” we become disappointed and agitated when it doesn’t. The reality is that our computers function effectively 99% of the time.

Once we tweak our beliefs from “my computer must function properly 100% of the time (because I am your name)” to “I am grateful that my computer is reliable 99% of the time” we would be less likely to become agitated when the computer malfunctions.

Avoidance, grounding ourselves in reality, and having more flexible beliefs are all excellent strategies at preventing agitation in our lives. It is likely a combination of these approaches would reduce the amount of stress agitation causes us.

What agitates you?

Ask yourself why and then reflect on how you might be able to incorporate these ideas into your life in order to reduce agitiation?

Agitation as merely a frame of mind…

Keep being awesome,

This has been one Dan’s opinion.